Infinity Lake

Swimming tonight beneath the muffled light of a full moon through the mist
I couldn't tell where the water ended and infinity began.
The moon dotted the water in rivulets of light as fog bridged the gap between water and air.
A loon's song echoes across the lake, on water as still as death.
A song heard through the vastness of space.
I call back and once hear an answer, then silence.
I call again and hear nothing. No response.
The loon knows I am an impostor.

As I lay in bed I hear a boat motor pass through the night air.
Driving a boat in this is insanity.
On the lake I could barely see a meter in front of my face.
How does the driver know where to go?

A wake, the remnant of the boat, crashes against the shore
Followed by another and another
Presents me with the most soothing of sounds
As it lulls me to sleep.

Nine months in the making

A lot has happened in the past nine months so I'll give you a brief run-down. In May I received Jukai which translates as "to receive the precepts". Basically, I am now officially a Buddhist, akin to a christian baptism. I bowed a lot and vowed to cherish all life, cultivate good, help others, and to be generous, honest and attentive. I affirmed that I am Buddha, I am awake. For pictures please click here. Right after the ceremony, my mom, who had flown out a few days previous, my uncle, who lives in the Salt Lake area, and I drove all night to Gunnison, CO for my sister's graduation. We changed right after we arrived, got some breakfast and proceeded to the ceremony. My brother and aunt had flown into town as well for the occasion. The governor of CO gave a pretty decent commencement speech in the stadium as the Rocky mountains painted the backdrop.

After heading back to SLC I finished up the school year and the summer began. I took a class for my job entitled Understanding Children and Families which gave me some ideas as to why some children act as they do. Other than that I spent a majority of the time pulling weeds, going to the library, playing music, hiking, camping, and a lot of just general gallivanting. In August I made my way back to Colorado for another adventure. A week and a half in Colorado Springs and my birthday celebration at which I became severely intoxicated. Jana, the Czech woman I met in Spain (see Star Peace) flew out the day before and witnessed the event. Struggling to get out of bed the next morning I popped some Aspirin and loaded the last of the equipment in the car. Jana and I were taking a good ol' fashioned road trip in my ex-girlfriend's car. We traveled from Colorado Springs to Durango into Monument Valley and across to Flagstaff, AZ. Proceeding to the Grand Canyon on the day President Obama was there, although we didn't see him, then on to Las Vegas. From there we drove across Death Valley into California. Stopping off at Mammoth for a couple days we next went into Yosemite for some amazing hikes and too many tourists. After Yosemite it was San Francisco where we were able to spend time with my brother before heading up through Napa Valley and on to Northern California and crossing over into Oregon.

This was my first time in Oregon but it will definitely not be my last. I wanted to go to Oregon to determine if I wanted to move there. I am very interested in Portland but all of the state we saw was gorgeous. I love the beaches, I love the green forests, I love the consciousness, I am looking forward to living there. From Portland we drove back to SLC. The entire trip lasted three weeks. I started work again the next day and Jana flew out that evening. For more photos of the trip check out Snapfish.

I had been promoted from Classroom Assistant to Lead Teacher which meant I was responsible for the operation of the class. The Assistant assigned to me had been a preschool teacher for almost twenty years previous so had a lot of experience to draw on. We set up the room and prepared for the students. They arrived one by one and I have subsequently fallen in love with every one of them. Halfway into the school year I am very happy about the way things have unfolded. I love my job and couldn't imagine doing anything else.

Other than the aforementioned activities I have recently passed my second koan if that means anything to you and have become the proud parent of a beautiful baby girl rat. Her name is Skyrocket and I bought her with the intent of taking her to the classroom but she is still a baby. I'm going to let her grow a bit before I take her in. I am now on winter break for two weeks and intend on going into more detail about some of these things later. I guess we'll see where that intention takes me.

ECC and Bribery

Two weeks ago we had Friday off from work so that we could attend an Early Childhood conference on Saturday. The conference went the way conferences go, generally speaking. The keynote speakers were great and some of the classes were a little helpful but it's not what I would have chosen to spend my Saturday doing. Th following week we were studying Creepy Crawlies in the classroom. Butterfly nets were provided for catching all sorts of insects as well as frogs, salamanders, chameleons, and spiders galore. Since we didn't have our usual Friday teacher workday my lead teacher and I hurried to get as much done as possible the Thursday before to clean the room and change out the dramatic play area. Needless to say, it could have been a lot better. Other than the nets and the animals to catch there was really nothing for them to do.

The next Friday I was by myself because my lead was off for CNA training. We were told by our supervisor that the dramatic play area needed to be a little more... well, dramatic. I spent about an hour cleaning the classroom then went to town on the dramatic play area. I brought in a fake tree from the hallway then went to grab six feet of greet butcher paper. I covered one of the walls with the paper and cut the top to look like grass then put the tree in the corner. On the wall of grass I put a large ant hill complete with tunnels and the queen in the corner with all her eggs. I also cut out dozens of tissue paper butterflies to be tossed in the air and caught in the nets. I then took a pom-pom and wrapped it in pipe cleaners to look like legs. creating a large black spider. The spider was then suspended from the tree.

We are specifically working on number recognition with the children so I made ten large ladybird beetles and added a certain number of dots on one side with its corresponding number on the other. I then cut the beetles in half different ways so the children could match up the halves. I bought some large coffee filters and brought them in on Monday to make butterflies. We decorated the coffee filters then wrapped up the middle with a pipe cleaner to draw in the middle and puff out the sides to look like wings. I encouraged the children to make ants on the anthill using the eraser of a pencil for the body parts and a marker to draw the legs and antennae. They were given markers and the opportunity to draw whatever creepy crawlie creatures they wanted to on the grass wall.

Wednesday morning my supervisor came in and told me that my lead had been admitted to the ER last night. She is ok, don't worry. She is pregnant and was experiencing severe pain so they went to the hospital but both she and the baby are just fine.The point is I would be the lead teacher for the next couple days. Well the morning class went fairly well except for three little boys who were terrorizing everyone and everything but we managed to make it through to the afternoon. The afternoon class was pretty good as well, same sort of situation though. The next day I decided to try some positive reinforcement a.k.a. bribery. Before class began I pulled aside the three boys and showed them a couple other pom-pom spiders I had made specifically for them. I told them that if they listened well and were good examples for their friends they could take home the spiders at the end of the day. I only had to give one warning to two of the boys and told them it was their only warning. Other than that they were all very well behaved, I couldn't believe they were the same children. At the end of class I thanked each of them as they were leaving and gave them their prizes.

In the afternoon class their is a kid of Tongan decent who is much bigger than all the other children in the class. He also has a very difficult time keeping his hands to himself which apparently is common in the culture. He pushes, hits and wraps his arms around other children's necks. Before class on Thursday I told him if he could keep his hands to himself he would be able to take home the spider that had been hanging from the tree. Amazingly enough he didn't touch a single student the entire day. Bribery works. I'm interested in seeing what happens over the course of the next couple weeks. Hopefully the good behavior continues.

Tête, épaules, genoux, et pied, genoux et pieds

I know I said I would write more often however I have a couple excuses. First, I got really sick with the flu for about two weeks and things just piled up like dirty laundry (which was something that in fact piled up and overflowed out of my hamper). B, two weeks ago was a major deadline for work when many things were due so I spent a lot of time working. Three, I’ve been distracted by snowboarding, sewing, friends, and games. Lastly, I’ve spent my free time just being lazy.

As I said, a couple weeks ago was a major deadline at work. Head Start is a federally funded program so the government likes to know where their money is going. Therefore we are required to keep portfolios for each of the children and provide evidence of their social/emotional, physical, cognitive, and language development. We also need to write anecdotes about how the children fulfill the requirements of a fifty point Creative Curriculum. We also had parent teacher conferences at the same time. I never knew how much paperwork could be involved in teaching preschool.

Every two weeks we switch the theme of the classroom. A few weeks ago our theme was space. We had pictures of planets all around the room, little toy robots and aliens, a cardboard rocket ship, and little spacesuits for the height impaired. We talked about the sun and our position in the solar system. We strung up a paper cone rocket on a string and the children had to figure out how to get it across the room without the use of their hands. I shot off little photo canister alka seltzer rockets. It was a blast.

The next two weeks were focused on the ocean. Water dwelling creatures were posted all along the walls. Fishing poles were given to the children as they fished for fish with fishy numbers on them. I folded paper boats the children colored with markers. The next day we placed the boats in a tub of water to see if they would float. Sure enough, they did… temporarily. With the waves and splashing from the children playing around the boats were soon drenched and sinking to the bottom, the color from the markers melting into the water. At first the water was a beautiful array of colors, then as they mixed it became a murky brown. My friend Mel who works at the aquarium came in to do some activities with the children turning a couple of them into bullfrogs that ate the rest of the children as an example of an endemic species.

Following our ocean theme we are now in the middle of a fantasy/fairy tale setup. A large castle is hanging up on the wall in front of a small puppet theatre. In my best Swedish chef impersonation I took a chef puppet and chased after one of the pigs trying to make bacon. It is a good thing that it was only fantasy as I would never do such a thing in real life. The kids got a kick out of it though. We tell stories like Jack and the Beanstalk which comes complete with a tiny Jack, a tiny giant, and a tiny giant beanstalk.

I have taken my guitar into the class twice now to sing songs like This Little Light of Mine, Puff the Magic Dragon and Down by the Bay. I also introduced the children to Head, Shoulders, Knees and Feet in French. Now they are moving and singing in a second, or for many a third, language. It is pretty cool.

I am really enjoying my job. I can’t think of any other profession I would rather be in. I don’t spend all my time working though, as it might sound. I actually have very active yoga and Buddhist practices. I attend a Power Hour yoga class twice a week and sitting meditation once a week. I am also in the process of sewing a rakasu. A rakasu is a bib-looking thing that hangs around my neck during meditation. I am sewing it so that I might receive jukai in May. Jukai is translated into receiving the precepts. So in May I will officially be considered a Buddhist.

All in all, life is pretty great. I really appreciate that I have so many things to be thankful for. I am healthy, I have a nice place to live in a pretty cool city, I have a great job (especially nice with an economy in such a state), and spring is on its way. Hooray!

Head, shoulders, knees and toes, kness and toes

After two weeks of work I had three weeks of winter vacation. The first week I spent lazing around the apartment or taking trips to the library. The second and third weeks I spent back in Colorado Springs with the family. My sister was in town as well as my brother and his girlfriend. Only the second he's brought home to meet the family so I'm sure we scared the hell out of her. The two of them seem very happy together so I'm very happy for them. I went to downtown Colorado Springs with a few of the regular CSers, a couple new ones, and Big Ben who I had not seen in over seven years. It was a good night ending with Denny's at 3:30 in the morning.

I came back to Salt Lake City and went back to school. I would like to say that I really love my job. The teacher I work with is really nice and has things pretty together. The kids are great in that there are no overt troublemakers and they are all pretty fun to play with. The money is pretty sweet too. Its been two and a half years since I've had a job that pays. My first paycheck was more than I had made in those two and a half years combined.

When at the preschool I love getting into what the kids are doing. Yesterday I was finger painting and playing patient to a group of 4 year old doctors. They determined that I was in the hospital because I was having a baby. After giving me a few shots of God knows what and putting me on oxygen I successfully gave birth. One of my "doctors" wrapped up a blanket and handed it to me. "She's a beautiful baby girl" she told me. "Thank you, you were an excellent doctor" I replied.

The day before we were using shaving cream, glue, water colors, and googly eyes to paint faces on paper plates. That was a very messy assignment but probably some of the most fun I've had getting my hands dirty since my last girlfriend. On nice days we take the children outside and with all the snow we've been able to build snowmen and women, make snow angels and throw snowballs at the broad side of a barn (occasionally missing). On inclement weather days or when it is too cold we go to the gym which smells as most gyms do of sweaty socks and urine. I'll run around with the kids and throw them down on the mats until they wear me out.

All in all, it is a pretty good workout between throwing around 50 pound children and performing "Head, shoulders, knees and toes" as fast as possible and going on a "Bear Hunt". I really believe that if I am to have a job this is the best one for me. I am very happy playing the role of a teacher. I hope to do this for quite awhile.

My 7 year-old roommate

Alright, I know I've been horrible at keeping this thing up to date. And I have no excuse being that I live in a city where there are multiple computers and internet available to me. I mean, its not like I'm in the middle of the Mexican desert or anything. I'll try to keep more current in my entries. So far I've been writing like I was writing for chapters in a book. I realize that people are probably less interested in sitting at a computer to read a book a chapter every two to three months than they are to just read a short blog post update. Plus, we tend to seek instant gratification from technology these days, as is the intent. However, I know I still appreciate having a book in my hands to read at my leisure. So for now I'll give a brief update of what has happened since my last post.

Another guy moved into KC's house, one of her son's friends from culinary school in the city for his internship. He was paying KC $300 each month for rent. KC hadn't been charging me rent up to that point, she told me I could stay with them for a month for no charge, but the month was quickly coming to an end . In the past two months of searching I had yet to find work. I couldn't afford to pay that so I asked the HPs if I could move back in with them and the boys. Although Riley had taken the room downstairs where I had been staying, they of course welcomed me back in. I wasn't paying rent but I also had a seven year-old roommate. It wasn't one of the best arrangements in my life but it worked.

I spent my time riding around, playing WiiFit until I was sick of it, meditating at Kanzeon, watching full seasons of Six Feet Under, playing around with the kids, and job searching. At one point I even took a tour of the UPS facility to be a package handler but didn't take the job. During this time Halloween came upon us. I had been planing a costume for the past month or so. I had bought the most 70s looking clothes I could find at the thrift store, I wore a blonde afro borrowed from Robin, and painted my face to look like a skull. I had transformed into the Death Of Disco. I attended a couple of parties and had a blast at them. A week later my friend Patrick from the Zen Center offered me a room in his two-bedroom apartment for rent. He even said I could stay for a reduced rent until I found a job so I took him up on his offer. I moved in with Patrick as soon as I could. He lives a block and a half from the TRAX line and about six blocks from Kanzeon so it is a great location.

The week after I moved in with him I volunteered at Kanzeon to be the assistant cook for the sesshin. Making meal after meal for 60 people is a difficult task and it takes a whole kitchen staff to get it done. Halfway through the week I received a phone call from Snowbird Ski School offering me a job as a ski/snowboard instructor. I accepted the job and prepared to spend a season on the slopes. About two hours after I accepted the job I received a phone call from the Head Start preschool offering me a classroom assistant position I had interviewed for. Now, I had a decision to make but was prepared to make it. I decided to go with the Head Start job. I called Snowbird back and renounced the instructor position.

Now, I know many of you would say, "Why the hell would you give up a snowboard instructing position to be a preschool teacher?" Not only was the money better in being a preschool teacher, not to mention the excellent benifits, I was looking forward to the idea of teaching young children in a community that is of the lowest socioeconomic class in Salt Lake City. The area is composed of many Hispanic families as well as several immigrants. This gives me the opportunity to help in an area where I can do a lot of good. A free pass to a resort didn't seem to be worth that.

I went home to Colorado for Thanksgiving and when I returned I started my new job. More on that later. I worked for two weeks and then school ended for winter break. Not a bad schedule, I thought, two weeks of work followed by three weeks off. I could handle this.

This is just a picture of the Mormon temple and Headquarters I took while waiting for the tram. I thought the sunset had some pretty colors.

The weekend after I returned from Alaska, my sister, Christina, had a couple of soccer games up in Colorado Springs. We went to her game at the Air Force Academy then spent the evening with her before we all went up to Boulder for her game the next day. Since we would already be in Boulder, my parents and I decided that we would drive up to Estes Park afterwards and stay the night there. After Christina’s game we did just that. After driving up the pass we crested the hill overlooking the town at the foot of the Rocky Mountains. Driving across the bridge that separated the North and South sides of a shimmering azure lake we spotted something that looked vaguely like the Loch Ness Monster. Upon closer inspection we realized that it was the Loch Ness Monster, of the inflatable variety. We looked up and saw why. A huge banner shuttered with the wind which read “2008 Scottish/Irish Heritage Festival”. The three of us looked at each other and immediately knew what the other two were thinking. “Hooray! Kilts and bagpipes!” There was no way we could turn that down.

We parked the car and wandered up the hill amidst sticky, cotton-candy faced kids, and guys you wouldn’t want to see bend over. Following the sounds of the forlorn (bagpipes if you will) and the smell of Guinness we made our way through the festival. To our left dog’s catching Frisbees off their owners’ backsides. To our right were rows of tents representing the various clans. With our pints of Guinness in one hand and kettle corn in our other, we wandered through the tents and listened to more bagpipers. We had come at the end of the festival so after only an hour and a half they were having their closing ceremony complete with 102, you guessed it, bagpipes. Tents were packed up and free kettle corn distributed. We left and searched for a hotel room. We found one in a beautiful hotel on the lake. Our room had a balcony that looked out over the lake to the gorgeous mountains shooting up into the sky just beyond. After a really bad Mexican dinner I just sat on that balcony and watched the moon flicker off the ripples in the lake.

The next day we drove up into Rocky Mountain National Park. Immediately after paying our entry fee we looked off to our left and saw a herd of about thirty elk. Driving further in we saw even more. We drove further into the mountains before we parked the car and took a hike. Passing towering walls of sheer rock colored elephant grey we made our way along the arduous trail. Occasionally we would make hydration stops or take in the awe-inspiring scenery. Crystal clear lakes shimmered under the bright blue sky and brilliantly reflected the magnificence surrounding them. After a full day of mountains, lakes, waterfalls, and chipmunks my parents and I made our way back down to the car. We ate dinner at a Nepalese restaurant before driving back down south along the Front Range to arrive home again.

I stayed in Colorado for about two more weeks before heading up to Denver to catch my westbound train. During this time I went to the local Goodwill and treated myself to a whole new wardrobe so that my hemp pants aren’t the only pants I own anymore and my shirts actually have buttons. The day before I left, Nieve, Michael, Amanda, my mom, and I took a tour of Boulder beer breweries. Several hours and many beers into it we were all nice and toasted. Besides for a half gallon of beer being spilt on me I would say that it was a pretty successful tour of the Boulder breweries. As the sun rose the next morning it was quite difficult to raise up off Nieve’s couch and prepare for the next leg of my journey. At the train station I checked in my luggage and said goodbye to my mother. After a hug and a kiss I boarded the locomotive. I sat down in my seat and watched the beautiful Colorado scenery change into the rugged yet equally beautiful landscape of Utah. By the time it arrived in Salt Lake City the train was an hour and a half late, but it did arrive.

Kim was waiting there for me as I stepped off the train. It was after midnight and she was wearing a hat (something I never see her do) so I didn’t even recognize her as I walked right past to my luggage. I turned around to see if she had arrived when this little guy in a Newsies hat and glasses walks right up to me and I realize that its no little guy at all, it is little Kim. She helped me get my stuff into the car and we drove back to their house. While I was away they moved Riley and his things downstairs into the room I was using but it was also still kind of the guest room as the futon was still spread out next to his bed after Ruth’s mom had just come to visit. I lay down and fell asleep. The next morning Kim and Casey came down to wake Riley from school. As soon as he came in the room and saw me, Casey had the biggest grin on his little face. He woke Riley and Riley turned his head in my direction. He had no idea what was going on but was enjoying it anyway.

The boys went to school, Ruth went to work and I was alone in the house I had left three months prior with no intention of returning anytime soon. I had time to gather myself and get in touch with my surroundings before reassembling my bicycle. By gathering myself I mean beating all of the top scores on WiiFit. Now Ruth is mad at me. On Sunday I went to the Zen Center and felt like I was back home. People were happy to see me and most were very pleased I hadn’t left for South America. Afterwards I went to another lesbian couple’s house to help them take care of their three year-old daughter Julia. I was to stay with them throughout the week and look after her while one of her moms worked and the other was out of town. Julia is a brilliant little girl with a strong will and able mind. She has an excellent vocabulary for a girl of three and I can imagine her becoming a great leader someday, like Wonder Woman. (What? She was a great leader with that awesome invisible jet and unbreakable lasso.)

After spending a week with the soon-to-be superhero I moved over to my friend’s house overlooking the great salt lake valley where I’ve spent the last two weeks continuously looking for employment, organizing refrigerators and pantries, cutting hedges, and getting lost in hours upon hours of Grand Theft Auto 4. What a life, eh? For now I’m waiting, meditating, making music, searching and killing lots of drug dealers. What’s next is anybodies guess.