Inner Conversation

On May 27th, 2006 I had a conversation with my inner self.  At the time, I called it God.  Also known as the superego, I told myself some amazing things that started my life on another track.  Maybe not another track, but a solidification of what I had been contemplating for months previous.  The following is what I wrote based on what I remember.

How you found me is irrelevant, all that matters is that you were searching.  Now that this door has been opened you can never close it.  You must never close it.  You may walk through that door anytime and be with me in the most amazing way, but know you leave this life behind.

I am always with you and have always been.  My light shines brightly through this door and envelops every aspect of your lift.  Let my light shine through you and pass to others.

What you do with your life is completely up to you.  This universe is yours to do with as you please.  There are so many great things you can add to this universe and you may do with it whatever you want.

What you have done in the past matters not.  If there are things in your life or universe that you want to change, then change them.  You have the power.  Your life is yours and belongs to no one else.

If you love me then love yourself.  I am in you and everything around you.  I love you no matter what you do or who you are.  Always remember that.  You are precious to me and essential to your universe.  Without you, your universe wouldn't exist.

Everything that came into being came from me.  In this way you are connected to everything that exists.

You are the brother of Jesus and the Buddha.  You are brother to Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi   You are also the brother of Hitler and Stalin.  That does not mean you will be like any of them but that you are related to them in the same way you are related to the person sitting next to you and every being on the planet.  Treat them as your siblings.  Even if you do not like someone, love him.

You are completely unique and have your own life to live.  Be you  and be the best You that you can be.  Live life to the best of your ability and enjoy this universe that you have been given.

You will walk through that door when you are ready to walk through it.  Do your best to leave the world behind better than when you entered.

If you are ever lost, follow the light.  It will not lead you astray.

I love you and everything you are.

There are as many ways to find this voice as there are being in the Universe.  You will find your voice if you haven't already.  When you do, I sincerely hope it opens your eyes as much as it has opened mine.

Into the Frying Pan

Life is dark in the cupboard with these pots and pans
Teflon in my belly and rubber on my handle
Waiting for breakfast or supper till someone can use me.
Finally a light comes in from the door,
This is the moment I've been waiting for.
Won't you cook something that needs a flat bottom, please.

That hand reaches in, grabs me by the handle
Puts me on the stove hotter than a candle
Adds a little oil with a squeeze.

What are you frying up this time, I wonder?
Eggs with pieces of shell from that blunder
Pancakes would definitely be alright with me
Perhaps some bacon, ooh I love the sizzle
Or even potatoes, listen to 'em fizzle
As the grease slides over my non-stick surface with glee.

Alright stop; what's this you got me doin'?
I've never seen whatever it is you got brewin'
White and squishy, smells like nothing I've seen
Looks like a sponge and feels like one too.
Probably will taste like the tongue of a shoe
Is this really what you think is real keen?

I don't know what kind of eating you're after
This kind of thing fills me with laughter
I guess you're trying to make your diet lean.

Tofu ain't the kind of thing to eat
Especially when your body craves meat.
No matter if you fry, bake or steam
I prefer the real food you make
Not something fashioned like a cake
I will make sure bacon haunts your dreams.

Throw in some veggies, add a little Mirin
Look at the way you've got these things stirin'
That soy sauce you got is loaded with MSG
I see you've got some rice to throw the stuff over
So what if its low in cholesterol and fat free.

There's no way in hell that stuff will make you happy
Nor will that tofurkey make you nappy
You need real food in your life, can't you see?

Don't you think that life is all about what you enjoy?
A lot of that comes from eating food that's not made of soy.
Greasy food may not be as healthy
But they sure make your life feel wealthy.
So quit buying carrots and Bok Choy.

What what tastes good and sizzles like it should.

Twinkle

I wrote this several months ago when I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about someone that doesn't exist as of yet.

The light you bring unto this world is brighter than any star.
No matter what this life might hold, remember just who you are:
A child born from the purest love, a gift unto our lives.
Through darkness and heartache, that love still survives.
Tonight we lay you down to sleep, cradled in our arms.
We hold you tight and kiss good night the luckiest of our charms.


Dreams play upon the beautiful scape of your ever expanding mind.
May they always be sweet as a chocolate treat and may you seek whatever you find.

Light of the Moon

The moon with her daughters around
Offer us portals to other worlds,
If we would but grasp them.

We spend our lives reaching
For those lights in the sky,
But we are not nearly tall enough
So we colapse along the banks of the river.

As the water flows past
The moonlight shimmers off its glossy surface.

To be open like the river
And accept the light of the moon
We would realize we already contain her light.

One evening on the Great Salt Lake

My partner and I had ourselves an excursion unto the GSL.
A captain was searching for crew to his ship so on board we did set sail.

We came upon the starting line patiently waiting our start.
The flag was raised, away we went racing with all of our heart.

The skipper would yell, "Pull the goddamn halliards!" and I'd pull with all of my might.
I just prayed the red rope I had been pulling was indeed right.



The first mate and I had control of the jib, my partner running the main.
Despite the bumbled mass of confusion, in second place we came.
In the marina drinking our beer, celebrating the race.
With a wink in his eye the captain said, "You weren't a complete disgrace."

We left the marina as the sun went down, it's reflection on the lake.
We stopped to reflect on our evening at sea and for some pictures to take.

Location:S 1210 E,Sandy,United States

Gray Matter

I am a slave to my organs
I cannot go a day without my bladder calling out
at least 9 times, and that's when I'm dehydrated.

I feel the pangs of hunger roll over me like waves.
It growls, I ignore, it quiets.
Growling a little louder I refuse to listen, then again calm.
My belly shakes the rest of my body, I grab the chips and salsa.

The pain in my tow causes me to hobble around for
several minutes muttering, "Ow ow ow ow ow ow!"
Then of course there is sex, that organ runs my life
more than any other except...

The brain. That one never shuts up.
Always yapping away about all these great ideas,
most of which are completely inconsequential outside the gray matter.
It keeps me awake when I want to sleep.
It talks in different voices like a psychopath.
It argues with itself and feels horrible after a night of drinking, especially tequila.

Yet this gray matter makes sense of the images and sounds I perceive.
Ultimately it is responsible for all my sensations and perceptions.
It finds solutions to many problems.
It allows me to connect with others through language and shared experience.
I am the brain writing through this body to write about myself.
I posses the hand that moves the fingers into doing my bidding.
I am the slave master.
I run the show.


There is one thing that can take over...

instinct.

Mosquito Dharma

I have a difficult time hating. It seems that "hate" has rarely been in my repertoire of words. Of course I have preferences, likes and dislikes, and that's normal. However, I can say that there is one thing in existence that has taught me how strongly I can hate another creature. Mosquitoes.

They are horrible! Despicable!
Heinous beyond compare.
Those blood sucking fiends
Get through my jeans,
my t-shirt and even my hair! (Well they used to get through my hair)

Parasitic in nature they add nothing of value to the world. Instead, they get fat sucking my blood! They feed past the point of being full, ready to explode.

Carrying west nile, Dengue, malaria,
and countless other diseases
They make people sick
So I'll give 'em a flick
Or a slap whenever I pleases

Mosquitoes give me an itch I don't particularly like to scratch. So what do they offer me? What is their teaching?

I and the mosquito are one
Sucking blood I find quite fun
I drink past my fill
With nary a spill
And leave a big welt when I'm done

*words in green denote the mosquitoes perspective.

I do feed off others, taking advantage of countless people around the world with my choices in food, clothing and any other materials. I use people to my own selfish ends, even when I don't realize it. Especially when I don't realize it. When I'm not feeding from them I feed off my self. I am a glutton.

Am I Buddha nature? Of course!
Eating from pig and human and horse
One big slap to the head
Causes me to be dead
Yet the slapper has no remorse.

I watched as one landed on my arm and pricked me with its needle. I patiently waited, watching as it fed. It extracted its proboscis and flew away. Though it left a welt the welt did not itch.

Allow me to live and do as I may
Don't slap me or swat me or bat me away
I'll do what I please
And leave you at ease
That I might live to suck another day.

As do most living beings on this planet, mosquitoes came from the earth. I love the earth and everything she produces. I love human beings though I hate some of our actions. The most heinous acts come from greed, using other to suit our own selfish desires without regard to the consequences. Perhaps when we finish feeding off each other and give of ourselves to feed others we will have no need for mosquitoes to show us our own parasitic nature. There is also the possibility they will rise up as a cohesive force and attempt to suck us dry. At least we have bug zappers.